(Back to Rant Central)
A classic in the "reports from the front" category; it's best to read
this slowly and savor the details.
From: "B. W. Fitzpatrick"
Subject: A Chat with netscape 4.5
To: devel@onShore.com
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 1997 09:06:04 -0600
X-Windows: foiled again.
Me: exec netscape
Netscape: OH, OK.
grabMemoryByTheKilo(HalfOfTotalMemory)
hogResources(most)
incrementSystemUnstabilityBy(1)
Me: surf
Netscape: OK
Me: surf some more
Netscape: OK
grabMoreMemory(some)
incrementSystemUnstabilityBy(1)
Me: surf some more
Netscape: OK
whoaHitAJavaApplet
setSpeed(Commodore64)
thrashDisk(aBit)
incrementSystemUnstabilityBy(42)
showApplet(maybe)
Me: leaveAppletPage
Netscape: thankYou
Me: surf
Netscape: OK
notFeelingWell(aLittleQueasy)
Me: surf
whoaFoundJavaScript
puke(chunky)
grabMoreMemory(some)
incrementSystemUnstabilityBy(9.2)
executeJavaScript(maybe)
Me: surf away from JavaScript
Netscape: *whew*
Me: surf to plain html page
Netscape: freakOut(inABigWay)
lockUpXWindows(totally)
incrementSystemUnstabilityBy(amountOfLastVISABill)
grabAllMemory(mallocville)
thrashDisk(andIMeanHard)
ISaid_All_Memory(mallocAgain)
whatAboutThatByteOverThere(grabLastByteOfRAM)
thrashDisk(Harder)
thrashDisk(EvenHarder)
heySomebodySwappedOut(grabThatRAMToo)
thrashDisk(UntilHardReboot)
Me: power cycle computer
hit wall (hard)
yell and scream