I set my IRC client to keep logs. Among other things, that means I have a record of all my away messages from the past couple of centuries or so… Some themes emerge, notably a nostalgia for an imagined Paleolithic past:

  kfogel is away: http://www.rants.org/2013/12/10/irc_away_messages/

  kfogel is away: slowly leaching toxins from bloodstream while in a

                  state of severely lowered consciousness
  kfogel is away: replacing busted USB port replicator so can haz

                  mousez and keyboardz simultaneouzly.  Stay away from the IOGEAR

                  4-port USB 2.0 hub model GUH285 if you ever need a replicator.
  kfogel is away: Upgrading to Lucid.  Send a posse if you don't

                  hear from me in 30 min.
  kfogel is away: enumerating the integers
  kfogel is away: dealing with some reasonable subset of todo list
  kfogel is away: errand in the city that never stops talking about

                  how it never sleeps
  kfogel is away: communing with sessile benthic fronds
  kfogel is away: pursuing striated brachiators
  kfogel is away: metabolizing
  kfogel is away: attending to metabolic requirements
  kfogel is away: gym time -- yes, geeks are allowed to exercise,

                  stop looking at me like that
  kfogel is away: bun run
  kfogel is away: piano time is the only sacred thing
  kfogel is away: deep in concentration
  kfogel is away: ululating
  kfogel is away: Post Office, possibly including metabolic detour.
  kfogel is away: gradually converting oxygen to heat
  kfogel is away: Speaking of certs and Apache redirects, it's time

                  to put my laundry in the dryer and start the next load.
  kfogel is away: synthesis is the new creativity
  kfogel is away: put the pencil in the suitcase when the whiskey

                  bottle faces the moon
  kfogel is away: pipette herbivore cesium bricolage
  kfogel is away: Drinking the blood of innocents.
  kfogel is away: Q: How many Semantic Web advocates does it take to

                  screw in a lightbulb? A: What exactly do you mean by "a"?
  kfogel is away: Every odd integer > 5 is the sum of three primes.

                  That made my day.
  kfogel is away: weeping, once again, that "ombudsman" has neither

                  a sex-neutral form nor a verb form.
  kfogel is away: One of the nice things about a downtown Chicago

                  office is exiting into a Daley Plaza protest most weekdays.
  kfogel is away: gallivanting with brachiators
  kfogel is away: afk for a bit; ask the NSA if you need to find me
  kfogel is away: attentiveness to metabolic needs
  kfogel is away: avoiding stobor
  kfogel is away: oiling my Turing Machines
  kfogel is away: pubpat.org is my hero -- victory for

                  non-patentable genes at U.S. Supreme Court!
  kfogel is away: Literally heading to a restaurant whose motto is

                  "We Serve People".  I am not making this up.
  kfogel is away: Correction to previous away message: it might be

                  "Serving People", sorry
  kfogel is away: realizing that public school systems are useful

                  for teaching children how to handle bullies well, and how to

                  subvert hierarchical authority structures, therefore they should

                  be preserved
  kfogel is away: Is that Edward Snowden in a tuxedo, disguised

                  among the penguins in Antarctica?
  kfogel is away: Seeing what that sound is.
  kfogel is away: Researching the hallucinogenic properties of

                  oxygen -- hmm, continuous consumption appears to cause delusions

                  of reality...
  kfogel is away: fulfilling humankind's millennia-long dream of

                  flight, albeit in a cramped, commercialized, sadly routinized and

                  perhaps slightly tawdry way.
  kfogel is away: Neither hunting nor gathering.
  kfogel is away: avoiding subsidizing further Mesopotamian

                  adventurism
  kfogel is away: wondering why web sites use Flash in situations

                  where HTML+CSS+images would actually have been easier
  kfogel is away: pondering the futility of empathy in a universe

                  made mostly of hydrogen
  kfogel is away: pining for the fjords
  kfogel is away: nostalgia-drenched lunch in NYC Chinatown
  kfogel is away: stalking the wild asparagus
  kfogel is away: converting sunlight to metabolic energy
  kfogel is away: traipsing
  kfogel is away: checking in on the progress of my escape tunnel
  kfogel is away: flossing pulsars
  kfogel is away: off to hear Chicago Schola Antiqua in concert --

                  I'm sure all of FreeNode writhes in jealousy
  kfogel is away: contributing some heat back to the Universe
  kfogel is away: consumption of sunlight, indirectly, via organic

                  solar repositories
  kfogel is away: "What do we want?"  "TIME TRAVEL!"  "When do we

                  want it?"   
  kfogel is away: Los Angeles looks exactly like Los Angeles
  kfogel is away: neural network nightly reset
  kfogel is away: accepting silver medal for the 200 meter "not

                  thinking about the Olympics" challenge
  kfogel is away: transferring heat from one location to another
  kfogel is away: time to pay the cafe fee again -- maybe it'll be

                  another wheat-based sugary substance this time
  kfogel is away: re-spending my misspent youth
  kfogel is away: eating arugula in honor of Barack Obama
  kfogel is away: improving my Sogdian accent
  kfogel is away: converting matter into heat, using only my body
  kfogel is away: Converting sunlight into energy, indirectly.
  kfogel is away: admiring your gritty urban authenticity even as he

                  prices you out of your neighborhood.
  kfogel is away: luxuriating in the knowledge that no matter how

                  bad things get, there's always xkcd
  kfogel is away: pontificating somewhere, about something
  kfogel is away: It's just about time for historical inevitability

                  to come back into fashion.
  kfogel is away: ancient sunlight will now be converted to

                  particles of pure energy in my bloodstream
  kfogel is away: seeking gourd for use in repurposed pagan ritual
  kfogel is away: When you've just typed the same phrase three

                  times, it is time to take a break.  When you've just typed the

                  same phrase three times, it is time to take a break.  When you've

                  just typed the same phrase three times, it is time to FAKEOUT, YOU

                  THOUGHT YOU KNEW THIS JOKE BUT YOU DON'T.
  kfogel is away: just going to start using "friblopen" to avoid the

                  whole "free"/"libre"/"open" debate
  kfogel is away: Paying money to increase my cardiopulmonary

                  activity level in a socially-approved and non-disruptive manner &

                  location.
  kfogel is away: taking The Jacket for repairs
  kfogel is away: pursuing Outsider to galactic core to see what the

                  big deal is
  kfogel is away: weekly spur waxing
  kfogel is away: oak-sporting
  kfogel is away: getting away from the computer for a bit and

                  fondly recalling my paleolithic past